Joanne Adylse Lynne

Personally, I think it would be better if this is part of a short story, something resembling a letter to a lost love. It doesn't really rhyme as a poem, ...

While I like the first stanza, the second one seems rather awkward to me. No offense meant.

Thanks to your poem, I now have a clearer idea of what a guy feels when he pursues/ attempts to capture the attention of a girl who doesn't really want ...

Merci, everyone! I'll keep improving my writing. =)

Very poignant, but how on earth did the protagonist survive if most of the roof caved in above her head? But I like the way you brought out your story- ...

This is very well-written, filled with the emotions a person would feel in the persona's shoes. However, I do think it would be better if the eighth and ninth lines ...

She finds The lipstick on his collar Dark red Menacing Smeared across the whiteness of his shirt She smells the fragrance on his shirt Seductive Enchanting Yet no less alien ...

I love this! That was what my parents told me about my other name. This one is somewhat funny, somewhat light-hearted, yet so warm. "The sun is just one and ...

Personally, I find that the question marks which keep reappearing in this poem have kind of disrupted the flow. But hey, someone could do a rap with this!

By the way, this is something I wrote and posted on my blog http://silentoddity.blogspot.com. It's about someone I once cherished and still respect. Do review. Life, resembles an extended movie, ...

I read your poem, and here's what I think about it. I'm sorry that I think most of the phrases sound really unpoetic or unlyrical. While it's sure good to ...

Thank you for informing me about this continuation! Bethany's character does remind me of an obnoxious girl I knew in high school. Hazel's kind of like my best friend too. ...

Thank you, everyone, for pointing the messiness out. Actually, I was reading it over and over. Something just didn't feel right. =P Anyway, I've started a new site, and I'll ...

Is there going to be some sort of continuation? I'm following this!

If you're musical, you can probably try making this poem into lyrics. I was imagining a medieval woman caressing her lover as he lies by her, life fading. Beautiful.